From: Dawn

Why Gay Marriage is Wrong

1. Homosexuality is not natural. Real Americans always
reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester,
and air conditioning.

2. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in
the same way that hanging around tall people will make
you tall.

3. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all
kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry
their pets because a dog has legal standing and can
sign a marriage contract.

4. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time
and hasn't changed at all; women are still property,
blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still
illegal.

5. Straight marriage will be less meaningful if
homosexual marriage were allowed; the sanctity of
Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be
destroyed.

6. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they
produce children. Homosexual couples, infertile
couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry
because our orphanges aren't full yet, and the world
needs more children.

7. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children,
since straight parents only raise straight children.

8. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a
theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are
imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only
one religion in America.

9. Children can never succeed without a male and a
female role model at home. That's why we as a society
expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10. Gay marriage will change the foundation of
society; we could never adapt to new social norms.
Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the
service-sector economy, or longer life spans.