Well, today was a good day. I've figured out alot and could finally put the rest of my bitterness aside. Ya'll is gonna have to get reaquinted with the Jimmy!!! hehe I'm now out of my hole that I dug for myself. I heard a great monologue today on Taken. It describes what I was going through better than I could ever describe it:

"My mom told me once that when you're afraid of something, what you want more than anything else is to make it go away. You want your life back to the way it was before you found out there was something to be afraid of. You want to build a high wall and live your old life behind it, but nothing ever stays the same.... It's not your old life at all; it's your new life with a wall around it. The choice is not about going back to the way things were. The choice is about hiding or going right to the heart of the thing that scares you."