Gay rights are civil rights -- Queer Lesbian Gay News -- Gay.com
This has been something I have mentioned alot. This is a multipart statement really.
First, I have seen the way black gay and lesbians are treated (or have to act to be treated as equals) in everyday life. There is a MASSIVE homophobia in african-american culture to black gays and lesbians.
Here's the kicker, tho... I have noticed that it is more accepted for a white (or other race) to be gay or lesbian than a black gay or lesbian. This is completely seperate from my comments, but interesting none the less. Altho, it was detailed in differing words in the article--and, being seperate from that community (despite having black gay, lesbian, and straight friends), I don't understand it at all, nor should I comment on my conjectures about hte reasons why it is the way it is.
I do have the right, however, to point out the odd quirks that I have noticed.
Speaking of which, that brings me to my 2nd point: the seperation in the african-american psyche between the african-american civil rights movement to the gay civil rights movement (i'm going to use gay as a non-specific adjective, cuz really gay and lesbian are the same. I have never understood why they have to be seperated--and also, i'm too fuckin' lazy to keep typing gay and lesbian... LOL)
Back to my 2nd point.... It takes a completely ignorant and politically blind person to not see the same mistakes over and over. Which is exactly what'z happening now with gay rights. It may not take the mirror image of african-american atrocities, but are on the same base.
To say that someone is different and therefore is not entitled to the same rights is wrong no matter how u look at it. You can lie to yourself and say it'z okay for such-and-such reason, but the bottom line is, you are only trying to justify your bigotry to yourself...
I cannot tell you how many times someone has shut me down because gay rights "are nothing like civil rights" and "how dare [I] compare them to eachother!" --and just the fact of me trying to clarify it and explain WHY I felt they were similar (in a civil and decent manner, mind you), resulted in threats to my person (or just to our friendship) if i didn't "shut-up". I would always back down from these arguements. They were wholly one-sided and I didn't wish to cause bad feelings. I'd make a bland, simple, one-line summary of my point and then just leave them to ignore me. There was no getting thru. You can't be heard if the person isn't listening.
I know this isn't a way of a super-activist hero or what-not... but it'z the way of a diplomtic activist. There's no point in closing ears.
Maybe sometimes I'm too concerned with what other people think... too unwilling to let go of familial ties with friends to say what needs to be said, but then again, i'm firm in my belief that there's a time and a place for everything.
Really tho, how can someone seriously seperate the two things? On the one hand, you have someone hate you for how u look... On the other hand, you have someone hate you cuz of who you like... They are both superficial, grade-school reasons to hate someone.... You can't help what u look like, skin color, ect. You can't help who u like, either. Otherwise, we wouldn't all have the memories of relationships we feel dumb about later....
The only argument people can possibly make at that point is the "adam and eve...not adam and steve..." thing...
Not only does that bring in the whole concept of religion (which not everyone believes the same thing as you... Don't bitch that a Jehovah's Witness comes to your door if you're tryin to push ur religious beliefs on others too...), but it seriously points out another horrible contradiction:
So often, homophobic heterosexuals blame gays for just being sexual deviants... just being perverts... Altho, again, back to the "adam and eve...not adam and steve"... You are hating someone because of sexual reasons. Not only is this superficial... A certain kind of love (these two people are not able to love eachother because of who they are), --but it'z also being way too concerned with sex. Who'z the pervert in this case? Who'z basing everything on sex?
Heterosexuals and homosexuals are very much alike... Both are attracted to a certain type of person. That'z why u have some people stray between the line. --but generally it'z always of that certain type. Gay people think only in terms of the same gender romantically, in the exact same way that straight people think of the opposite gender. There is absolutely no difference in the reasoning behind it. In fact there's many more heterophobes than homophobes if you ask me.... --but it only gets so much deeper when u bring in bisexuals...
Sure, you have the whores--the ones who'll take sex any way they can get it... but there are bisexuals who love the PERSON, not their body; and, personally, I believe that'z more common than the whores... They're the same as their gay and str8 counterparts... It'z not about sex, it'z about love.
You can say that gays and bisexuals look for sex only, but that'z generalizing. There's lots of straight people that do the same thing--guys and girls... It doesn't mean all of the straight people are like that, however. Thinking that only shows ignorance. It shows that since you are not like that, you have to hate and make up shit about the people who are different than you--when really it is the same, only different terms.
Do you have the right to tell someone they can't like a certain person because of other physical reasons? of course not. if you feel you do, think about the reason.... I'm sure it falls back to religion again; and, we've already determined that'z not a reason to judge somone (do you really think you are qualified to judge who is worthy of loving who and whatnot? do u think you are so holy as to be ABLE to judge somone? I think that'z called pride--u know, the sin... Not only that, but trying to rival the judgment of your god (depending on ur specific religion). Isn't he the only one that has the wisdom to judge someone on such a moral basis?)
Now i'm getting into religion...that'z not the purpose of this post. Altho, I would like to say, MY religion is based on pure good. There is no hate in my religion. If your religion requires you to hate someone, that shows lack of wisdom and/or the tampering of unclean hands, in my eyes--and keep in mind... I'm just a 24 yr old everyday guy (25 today technically hehe 20th is my b-day)... If i'm capable of realizing that, then there's a problem. Am I capable of not liking someone? yea... am i capable of hate? yea... Is there anyone i feel those things towards? Of course! -but they were justified in the fact that they did horrible things to other people without justification.
They hurt someone for the sheer pleasure of it, or thru malice. We all know the basic rights from wrongs. Don't steal, don't lie, ect. Truth, to me, is the highest standard... *points to the top of the page* --but enuff about that... back to my rambling LOL
The whole matter of religion brings me to the 3rd and final point. Once when faced with someone who was arguing with me and someone else about whether or not gays should marry, alot of things came up in conversation... He called us tree-hugging, liberal pussies and all kinds of other names... He insulted his friend (who i hardly knew, but whom he apparently knew for awhile: "I had no idea you were this kind of person!") for taking my side in the discussion.
I remember us saying that civil rights weren't liberal, they were supposed to be for everyone and the one thing that rings clearest was when he told me about the "defending the sanctity of marriage" speach, I said, "what are you protecting it from? If you let gays get married, how will that change your marriage?".... I never did get a response. He left...
This kinda sucked, cuz i wanted to really understand why he felt the way he did... but then thinking back, we were so calm and just the mention of the subject threw him in a rage of some sort. How do you even talk to someone like that?
--but NEwayz... what WOULD it change? Does a straight marriage suddenly mean nothing? This is a bad analogy (cuz it makes gays sound as bad as breaking vows), but: If the married couple next door cheats on eachother, does that mean ur marriage is ruined? If you don't agree with someone elses marriage or the actions taken place in it... How does it affect your "perfect marriage"?
Even more so potent in the "perfect" marriage between two gay guys or girls... You marry as a symbol of the union of your souls. --A devotion towards eachother... Not about getting someone to recognize it or for benefits or whatever...
If I find the perfect guy, yea... I'll marry him... fuck everyone else... That'z not what marriage is about... I would like the ability to help eachother (like medical insurance, ect.) that str8's have, but if not, i'd hope i could do it on my own... at least... --but most of all, I would like them to be there if I needed them... Hospital visitation rights all that... My best friend was telling me about some legal battle some guy was having with the woman's parents cuz he wanted to cut her off life support and her parents didn't... but since he was the husband, he ended up winning in court... he said that his wife said that if she ever ended up being a vegetable in a coma, she wouldn't want to go on...
i said that I would... that if i ever got that way, to keep me alive as long as u could. Comas aren't like they are in the movies or on soaps... If ur in them for too long, u can come out with serious brain damage, but i said I would rather go on being dumb than just giving up and dying. There's always hope. Just cuz soemthing hasn't happened, doesn't mean it WON"T happen. Like if the docs say i won't wake up... fuck them... i might the next day.... things like that happen all the time... and hell... as long as i'm living, i might be dreaming at least... that'z SOME kind of life...
Don't pull the fuckin plug on me... I'LL HAUNT UR ASS! lol
but yea... he said he wouldn't even be able to make that decision for me. my parents would take precedence. He said, "gays don't have the right to make those kinds of decisions for themselves or for eachother..."
We're not in a relationship. HELL! I don't even think he's gay... LOL What I think he MEANT was, "Jimmy, even if you tell me, there's nothing I can do cuz i'm a guy, too...." So, my plug is as good as pulled.... My parents would keep me on life support for awhile, but my mom works for the hospital in surgery, so when everyone says it'z time, she'll slowly give in.... They'll get tired of supporting me (financially), cuz altho they're emotional people and love me, they'll realize (cuz they're also good with money) that it'd be better to just let go...
I doubt that would come up in conversation... a "NEVER LET GO, JACK! NEVER LET GO! *kicks jack off her floaty thing and then cries about the diamond necklace*" moment...
Jeff would support me... He loves me, being the str8 boy he is... He's my best friend. He would do that for me. He would keep me alive. Financially and everything. --but he has no right to... even with it not being a gay relationship... All because of him being another guy. Hell... to tell the truth... we're over halfway to a commonwealth marriage..
I know people who have gotten married to keep people in the country... I know people who have done it cuz 'it was the right thing to do'... ect... --but when it comes down to the ONLY reason to get married, I can't....
So where are my rights? Forever in the background, that'z where... out of sight, out of mind... --but i can tell you one thing... I'm NOT gonna shut-up... and i'm NOT gonna give up... No one will tell me I'm not important...
